YOU WILL SHED NO RED WATER
by Total Derpy Fan
Summary: Krieg, somehow transported to the land of Shinobi, comes across two people who will forever change his way of life. With the love of one, and the friendship of another, will Krieg want to go back to get revenge on Hyperion? Or will he stay, and live a life where no one thinks him a freak. Well, almost no one. Rated M for blood and gore, Krieg, torture, and mutilation. POOP TRAIN!
1. Geirk? WHODAFUQ

**Ok, while I haven't updated lately on any of my fics. I started a new one! :D Yay! Another potentially gonna put on hold story again, not. Okay, maybe, anyway! I've never used the word Disclaimer in a sentance before until now. Also, the settings in this will be set before, during, and after the Chunin exams. I made it so, whenever Krieg sleeps, Geirk (Krieg's good half) comes out and vice versa. Even though Krieg is in main control.**

**Disclaimer: I, myself I mean, not some character named "I", do not own Krieg or the entire Naruto universe, they belong to their respective owners and such.  
**

**-This is a line-**

Blood.

The vile stench swarmed the nose of a lone bandit walking towards Iwa, and was growing anxious to arrive to her destination. As the smell continued to assult her nostrils, the future corpse turned around violently as she heard a thud behind her. "Who's there?!" She screamed out to the empty road.

Silence was her only reply. The bandit, who was growing even more frightened by the minute, turned around and sped up her pace. She hadn't seen the root sticking out of the ground in front of her. She tripped and tried to use her arms to stop her fall only to merely lessen the damage she took into her wrists. As she sat up on to one knee she heard grunting coming from behind her, she looked up from where she sat and saw a figure growing at a fast pace as it sprinted at her.

She never even got the chance to scream as the figure pulled out a saw like weapon and decapitated her on the spot.

"MY SHARP CIRCLE OF HURT HAS EATEN YOUR FACE HOLE!" The figure screamed with a hate filled voice at the body currently bleeding on the ground.

The 7 foot inhumane beast picked up his victims head and in a fluid movement, crushed the paled head into the ground, resulting in chunks and fragments of her skull to scatter about. As he continued to scream and flail about, the inside of his mind was currently at war.

_"Krieg! That could have been an innocent! Ugh. I will give you one more chance, for even I didn't know if she was or not."_ The voice similar to the beast now known as Krieg, only kinder and less gruff.

Krieg looked at his right hand that was currently holding his buzz axe and stared at it with contempt. He raised said axe giving the idea to Krieg's other personality that he was going to hit himself again, only to raise his imaginary eye-brows as Krieg put his weapon of choice back into it's holster on his back, grunt, and walk down the road the late bandit was walking down, just to stop as Krieg's other personality spoke up again.

_"Wait, shouldn't you check her body? She could of had something to tell us where we are."_ His inner voice said, only to have completely ruined the only serene moment Krieg might have.

"I WILL CHECK HER SOUL TO ONLY FIND THE BEST OF THE ROAST CHICKENS!" Krieg yelled out as he got to his knees to salvage the deceased bandit's gear and loot, only to find she had nothing on her.

_"Even I didn't understand that one Krieg. Sometimes, I think you are so far gone, and yet you hop back down to some sort of sane level. This, is not one of those times."_ Muttered Geirk as Krieg ripped off the female bandit's left shoe and put it on as a hat.

"THIS GLOVE FITS LIKE A SHOE!" Krieg yelled. _"Sigh."_

**-Timeskiping time, One week later-**

The one bodied duo were currently in the Land of Waves talking to a man who looked in his late 40's in the man's house.

"Well Tazuna, I guess I'll wait for this 'ninja' team you're going to grab before I do anything. Where was it again? Konoda?" Griek spoke, in a genuinely confidant tone.

The man, now known as Tazuna, answered. "Um, no it's Konoha. Anyways, I'm glad your going to wait, this village needs all the help it can get. Especially with Gato and all his men running about, say. You never told me your name mister..." He stopped to stare at the freakishly huge man.

"Oh sorry, I'm getting so hooked on helping the good guys out for once I forgot. My name is... MEAT BICYCLES! I WILL RIP OFF MY ENEMIES LIMBS TO RIDE ALL THE WAY TO THE SUN!" Krieg yelled waking up from his temporary slumber, while successfully scaring the horse shit out of Tazuna.

_"Oh gosh. He had to wake up now?!"_ Geirk groaned mentally.

"M-meat B-bicycles? Your name i-is M-meat Bicycles?" Tazuna gulped, that certainly sounded frightening. Earning one hell of a glare from Krieg.

"THAT IS UNNACCEPTABLE! MY NAME IS KRIEG! LITTLE MAN!" The gas-mask wearing freak of experimental nature yelled out, further scaring the piss out of Tazuna, who now had a pale face to match that of the dead.

After done scaring Tazuna, Krieg stopped and spaced out, turns out he was only up for a short time. Geirk took over once again, and stared at Tazuna a moment before speaking. "Um... Sorry, I... Kind of have a second guy inside my head... well actually his head, I'm only out when he sleeps... which is rare. Soooo... expect alot of him. Don't worry though! He won't attack any of the citizens, not while I'm in his head at least." He said, trying to reassure Tazuna that he was going to be a great help with Gato.

"Anyway, how long is it going to take for you to grap this little team of yours?" Geirk asked, trying to not freak the man out any more.

"... A-about *cough* about a week." Said Tazuna, trying to sound manly. Fail.

"Understood, I will guard this house with both mine and Krieg's life._ Though the latter might scar alot of people for life_." He said with the last sentance in thought shaking Tazuna's already shaky hand.

The old man turned and walked out the door, as well as Geirk, who apparently had an audience to Krieg's little episode. Geirk just waved lamely.

"Uh... hey." He said as he sweatdropped.

**-Timeskipping time, Three days later (No Tazuna ain't back yet)-**

With little to no interference with Krieg these past days, Geirk became quite the popular amongst the crowd. He not only helped with small bandit raids, he also stopped a small drug ring going on in the allyways of the village, both earned him credit within the small village. Just when he was about to recieve a thank you amongst the village's denizens, Krieg managed to wake up in front of a little girl about to give him her teddy bear.

"Here you go misther, her name isth Misth Geirk becausth of you! Be nicthe though shesth a meany when mad." The 8 - 10 year old said with the most adorable of voices.

**-This is a line-**

**Cliff hanger! I think this is a cliff hanger... right? Anyway what do you guys think? Like it hate it want me to quit it? What? R&R!**

**-Omake: I LIKE YOU!-**

**Class just started, and Sasuke Uchiha was standing by the door as usual trying to act cool and stuff, and everyone was present, well almost. The door slams open, hitting Sasuke square in the left pupil. **

**As everyone quits staring at the Uchiha, the random smoke that is now mentioned dissipates revealing Krieg. The psycho walks straight up to Hinata, ignoring the bloodied cries of the king of brooding. Said female notices the hulking monster walk up to her and blushes up a storm.**

**Krieg, who took months to prepare what he was going to say, says it. "I WANT YOUR HEART IN MY CHEST CAVITY!" It took him three seconds to realize what he said, tried to say it in a different way. "HAVE A SPLEEN FIESTA WITH ME AT YESTERDAY!"**

**Hinata, who barely understood the last sentence, understood the last sentence. In other words, he just asked her out. Hinata, still blushing, yells out "LET US SHARE OUR LIMBS IN AGONY!" Krieg clearly understood what that meant and walked away opening the now mentioned closed door slamming it in the Sasuke's left pupil again. "GAHHH!"**

**The End.**


	2. TEDDY BEAR!

**Heyyo guys, I have two ideas for this chapter. One where Krieg befriends the young girl (Probably my worst one). Krieg murders the teddy bear.**

**Fic Warnings (Not just this chapter): Bloody & gore, torture, mutilation, Krieg, EXCESSIVE CAPS LOCK, and possible, not saying there is a chance here, a lemon or dós (Not with the little girl T.T).**

**Disclaimer: Once again, Krieg and the entire Narutoverse belong to their respective owners.**

**-THIS IS A LINE!-**

**Previously:**

With little to no interference with Krieg these past days, Geirk became quite the popular amongst the crowd. He not only helped with small bandit raids, he also stopped a small drug ring going on in the allyways. Both unrequested jobs earned him credit within the small village. Just when he was about to recieve a thank you from one of the village's denizens, Krieg managed to wake up in front of a little girl about to give him her teddy bear.

"Here you go misther, her name isth Misth Gerik becausth of you! Be nicthe though shesth a meany when shesth mad!" The 8 - 10 year old said with the most adorable of voices...

**Chapter twopointone:**

Kreig just stared down at the little girl and slowly reached down to grab the teddy bear. As he grabbed it, no thoughts from Geirk came up, he was to scared to say anything because he might enrage the giant. Krieg looked between the small teddy bear and the little girl.

This small but insufferable amount of innocence radiating from this gesture left Krieg with no words but this one sentance. "I WILL STRANGLE YOUR BODY SOFTLY WITH MY TWO PUNCHING STICKS!" Oddly enough the child did not show fear or depression, instead she burst out laughing.

"Don't you mean a hug, sthilly?" The young girl said, inciting an insane laughter from the older of the two.

"HAHAHA I AM CONFUSED ABOUT THE EMOTIONS I AM CURRENTLY FEELING!" Krieg suddenly screamed as he pulled the little girl and her ex-teddy bear into a soft strangle... Hug... Thing.

The little girl while laughing and enjoying the hug of a friend, was confused about something so she released the hug. "Hey misther? How come you're friendly when people sthay you aren't?" receiving an answer was her number one priority, and by jove he was the one to give it.

"I AM KRIEG!" Was all he had to say, and that shook the little girl quite a bit.

"Krieg? What happened to Geirk? Ooh! Ooh! Lemme guessth, you lied 'bout your name huh? Lyingsth bad Krieg. But I forgive you!" She said with the widest smile Krieg and Geirk have ever seen.

_"She's cute, not like that you damn psycho, anyway looks like you actually have a fan, not just Geirk anymore, now it's Krieg as well. Enjoy what you got, remember we have to leave for Konoha after the ninja team finish their mission."_ Geirk said inside of Krieg's mind, making the latter of the two grunt.

A thought came to Krieg, one that didn't pass by Geirk. _"You better not ask that! Oh my goodness this is going to get bad... DON'T ASK THAT QUSTION KRIEG!"_ Scream his insides.

"LITTLE SHORT GIRL! WHERE ARE YOUR BIRTHING HUMAN FLESH BAGS?!" Screamed Kreig, once again not fazing the girl at all, although it led to a single tear to stroll down her face.

"Idon..." She muttered quietly looking downwards.

"I CAN NOT HEAR SOUNDS FROM YOUR FACE HOLE!" Very subtle Krieg.

"I DON'T HAVE ANY PARENTSTHS!" She screamed. The girl stared at Krieg as tears slid down her face, only see his eye-hole had tears welling up behind it.

Surprisingly he felt a damp feeling run down the inside of his mask. This left Krieg in silence, not a word came from his mouth. Has he ever let the invisible blood stream down his face before? He questions that fact.

_"Just listen to me ok, say what I say and I think I can get us out of this."_ Geirk now deciding to pop up said, and for once, Krieg was open-minded and accepted this. He not only wanted to her to stop crying, he wanted her to feel better as well.

Krieg looked down to the little girl, and with his teddy bear in hand, did the most honorable thing a friend can do. Embarrass the hell out of your self.

"MISS LITTLE GIRL! IT IS ME MISS GEIRK! I CAN DANCE NOW!" Krieg yelled out, making the little teddy bear dance while using a (very bad) imitation of a female's voice.

"LET US DANCE IN THE FALLING LIMBS OF THE LIVING!" Screamed the teddy bear via Krieg. This alone brought a small smile to come out of the little girl.

Surpringly, Kreig got into it as well and started doing a little jig. This small show and humor going on was too much for the little girl to hand and she started to laugh again. After hearing her giggle, Krieg stopped dancing and turned to look at the little one. Krieg smiled from under his mask, not his usual "I WILL DEVOUR YOUR SOUL!"(1) type of smile, but a genuine happy smile.

Sensing his joy of her being in a better mood, the little girl grew saddened that she had to leave (Wow happy, sad, happy, sad. Can she pick?) back to the orphanage.

"Misther Krieg, had a fun time, but I got to go now, don't want to get sthpanked again." She said with a sigh, as she turned around to walk where ever the building of young screams is, Krieg's name for an orphanage I guess. Krieg thought for a moment.

"LITTLE GIRL! WHAT DO PEOPLE SCREAM WHEN THEY HEAR YOUR FACE HOLE SPEAK!" He yelled... wow he yells alot. At a little girl at that.

The little girl turned around once again, with a sad smile on her face.

"Shojo(2), no sthurname." She said as she turned once again for the last time.

Sometime passed as Krieg left to wander the streets of the Villiage of Waves. He soon found him self sitting in a dining booth.

"Hey it's the man who stopped those bandit raids, what can I do for you Geirk? Of course the first items on the house. It's the leas-" The smile on the bluenette vender's face was torn away, literally, as he found himself nose-to-mask.

"MY NAME IS NOT BACKWARDS!" Krieg screamed, obviously getting annoyed by being called his other half.

"Okay! Okay! Gosh put me down!" Krieg dropped him on his ass. "Gah, if your name aint Geirk what is it then?" The vender said, rubbing his sore hip-bone.

The once man-turned-psycho gave a look that could kill (If that were possible) and said in the most psychotic voice he's mustered out yet.

"KR**IEG!**" Krieg screamed. Krieg was getting tired of this. Krieg wanted to go home to Pandora. Krieg wanted to crush little vender's head. Krieg wanted to *fffftttt* Krieg wanted to... wanted to sleep.

Krieg slowly turned his head to look at the back of his left shoulder, and saw what would lead him to have nightmares in the past... A FUCKING SENBON NEEDLE!

Krieg blacked out right as he saw the vender run away in fear only to die due to a senbon hitting a vital point(3).

"ANNOYING SHOPPING PERSON DIed... ahahehe *cough-drop*"

**-This is a line-**

**There it is for Chapter Eleventy Four (2)(4). Like it hate it want me to quit it? What? R&R.**

**Sorry this one had less humor, I just couldn't think of Krieg hurting a little girl so I got stuck with him having to be nice for a little in this version of the chapter. Sorry.**

**(1) Ok, this is a legit saying in the Borderlandsverse, and I liked it**

**(2) Type Shojo in google translate, you'll laugh if you get the meaning, or not, I did.**

**(3) I haven't seen the Mission To Wave arc in a while, so can someone refresh my memory of the vital points.**

**(4) 114**

**-This is a line-**

**Chapter twopointtwo.**

**-This is a line-**

Rage.

Was the only emotion he felt as he stared at the little bear in the girls out-stretched hands. Without clearly thinking, Krieg ripped the teddy bear from her and brought it so close to his mask, he could feel it on the other end.

"THIS MEAT FLESH IS NOT A MEAT FLESH! IT HAS NO SOUL!" He screamed to the top of his lungs, probably damaging the little girl's ears (Not really.). As he screamed, the little girl looked on in fright, what was he going to do.

"I FEEL THE BLACK EYES OF MURDER COMING THROUGH HIS EYE-PEBBLES! HE MUST DIE!" He yelled out as he reeled his arm back. Only to send it flying towards the little bear's head.

He now had a grip on one of the bear's sewn on buttons and yanked it off, not hearing the girl giggle slightly (Thought she'd be scared huh? WRONG!). The string attached to the button, as it was forcefully yanked off, looked similar to that of flesh ripping from a tortured body or corpse, only with less blood and stuff.

As the button was successfully ripped from it's owner, Krieg got ready to dispose of the other. "YOUR PEBBLES MUST HAVE BEEN SEWN FROM THE TRIGGER!" He yelled out once more as he ripped the other button from it's source.

The girl, who had almost nothing to do, just stared on in wonder as she watched her acquaintance viciously rip off the sewn on buttons. Her amazement only doubled as she saw him rip them off with ease. A thought crossed her mind.

"Hey misther?" She said, interrupting what would most like be a grand extravaganza of filling-splosions.

Krieg, now completely aware the little girl was with them, stopped his battle with his enemy and turned to look at the little girl. Feeling slight remorse for what he just did, he apologized in only a manner he could. "I DID NOT RIP THE MEAT FROM THE NON-LIVING WONTON!" He said, not sure whether the girl understood him or not, he didn't care either... Liar!

"I don't care, she wasth yoursth anyway." This earned her a deadpanned look from Krieg.

"Anyway. I wasth thinking misther. How come you're mean when people sthaid you weren't?" A grade A+ confused little girl asked.

"Whatsth your name?" She asked another question, not caring that the first one went unanswered.

"KRIEG!" She heard him scream as filling pooled on the ground next to the now dead teddy bear.

"Krieg? I like that better than Geirk. Who callsth you that anyway?" She said, with her lisp lacing her question in adorableness.

Krieg took this moment to think, and answer. "YOUR MOM!" Harsh dude.

Hearing him say this hurt the little girl's feelings. Which in turn caused Krieg to regret his answer. "I AM CONFUSED ABOUT THE EMOTIONS I AM CURRENTLY FEELING!" Yup. Thats totally going to help.

With a small swallow, the little girl looked up hearing him say this and let out a small giggle.

Krieg. Didn't hear it.

"I HAVE INVISIBLE BLOOD GOING DOWN THE FACE OF ME!" He said, not realizing he was crying. He then felt two small arms wrap around his abdomen, looking down he saw it was the arms of the little girl.

"Don't cry." Was all she had to say. Like a boss.

Calming down ever more. Krieg just stared blankly. before shaking his head and said. "WHY AREN'T YOU STABBING ME?! I MURDERED THE FUZZY CREATURE OF ETERNAL FLOATING HAMS!" Krieg screamed as he let her hug him (Lots a H's there.).

"Becausthe I gave her to you, she wasth yoursth to do what you wish sthilly." She said. _"Wow, even more mature than you. You going to take that bro?"_ Geirk said popping up from no where.

"YOUR SOUNDS ARE HURTING MY LISTENING HOLES!" He screamed, reaching towards his back, not interrupting the hug, grabbed his buzz axe, the girl still hadn't noticed, and hit him self clean in the face with it.

His blood dripped down his body, and on to the little girl's head, noticing it pooling in the center of her scalp. Krieg swished around her hair a bit. Giving the impression to the little girl that he was messing up her hair.

"Hey you big meanie sthtop that!" She yelled jokingly looking up, only to widen her eyes at the sight of his buzz axe stick half way out of his skull. She released and looked towards the hand that she felt mess up her hair and gasped. Blood was dripping from it, she slowly reached up to touch her scalp and felt a damp feeling in her hair. As she brought her hand down slowly, she was having second thoughts, hoping it to be rain or water of some sort.

Blood.

It covered her right hand so much, it looked like a leather glove.

She looked back up at her self-hateful friend and nearly screamed, but it died going up her throat as she noticed he wasn't in pain. In fact, she saw him laughing slightly and heard the words "little man" and "shutted up finally".

She wasn't scared, she was sad to see her friend do that to him self. She then noticed his mask was ripped now (Buzz axe still in place people, hold your horses). "H-hey misther Krieg? Your masthk isth broken I think you need a new one." She said, gaining confidence after each word.

Krieg looked back down at the little girl, and with a swift movement, ripped out the buzz axe from his skull just to drop it on the ground. He got on his knee and with a deep, sleep deprived voice said. "I WILL FIX MY SECOND FACE BY YESTERDAYS MOON DOWN!" He screamed at the girl, which caused her to giggle. (Definitely manlier than me, I would have probably fainted by now.)

The little girl hugged him one last time, ignoring the blood flowing on to her, and said in a quiet voice. "My name isth Shojo misther Krieg, and I had a fun time. I got to go though okay? Promisthe to sthee me again tomorrow?" Shojo asked. Once again the lisp just adding to her adorableness, at least in Geirk's opinion.

Krieg took this time to ask. "WHERE DOES THE LITTLE MEAT SACK CALLED SHOJO CURRENTLY COMANDEER?!" He asked, honestly, I have no idea what the hell he just said.

Shojo giggled at his way of words, finding him to be a funny person. "I live at an orphanage called Zero to Dawn."

**-Meanwhile-**

Zer0 (Level 25) was about to pull the trigger, in his sights, a man who would be Jack (In other words, one of Jack's body doubles and some crap like that.) His finger pressed tightly on the trigger, waiting for Axton's (Level 28) command.

"Zer0 now!" Axton yelled, earning the attention of the body double.

As soon as he heard Axton, Zer0... sneezed.

"It is in my mask!/It is disgusting oh gosh!/I'm going to puke!" Not only did he miss his target, he hit an already pissed off Badass Loader (Level 56 :3) in the background.

**-Back with Krieg-**

"I WALKED THE RED CARPET OF LUNGS AND LIVERS TO DELIVER YOUR ROYAL PACKAGE!" He screamed at the orphanage caretaker. Scaring the hell out of her... and most of the kids, except Shojo, 'cause shes the shit.

**-This is a line-**

**There it is for that. Like it hate it want me to quit it. What? R&R!**

**So there it is, my two ideas for chapter two. You guys decide what one I go with, and I'll do the next chapter and the rest based off that. Oh joy! It's like one of those shitty "Make Your Own Adventure" Books. Except... MINES BETTER! Nah. Anywho, decide via review or pm idc.**

**-Zer0make-**

**Naruto just stared at the black visor with annoyance while he pointed his torgue shotgun at a skag running at the three.**

_**"Seriously, haiku? He just threw a grenade and he starts speaking haiku?! Whats wrong with this guy."**_** Was all Naruto could think of.**

**-Flashback time, Four minutes earlier-**

**Zer0 chucked the longbow grenade with no force as it teleported to it's target. As the explosion happened he noticed it killed more than one skag. He decided now to annoy the blonde.**

**"Explosions mean death/Blow the enemies sky-high/Annoys the blonde one"**

**As he said this he showed an xD face on his visor. Naruto just stared at the black visor with annoyance while he poined his torge shotgun at a skag running at the three.**

**Meanwhile Gaige was too busy staring at Naruto's butt.**

**The End.**


End file.
